.:~True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere~:.
(¯`·._.·[A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out]·._.·´¯)
•°o.O (It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone) O.o°•
•°¤*(¯`°(Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realise they were the big things)°´¯)*¤°•
°l||l° (Once you have learned to love, You will have learned to live) °l||l°
A man once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door.
On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The sermon was about the 10 commandments. He sat through the whole sermon and instead of sneaking out he waited until the sermon was over and went to talk to the minister.
“Father, I came here today to steal a hat to replace the one I lost. But after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I changed my mind.”
The minister said, “Bless you my son. Was it when I started to preach ‘Thou shall not steal,’ that changed your heart?”
The man responded, “No, it was the one on adultery. When you started to preach on that, I remembered where I left my hat.”
If you are my fellow countryman, you must be having some qualities like this:
31. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries haveimproved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of theirlungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them from getting dirty.
33. Its embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
If you are my fellow countryman, you must be having some qualities like this:
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or
receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the veloc
27. You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.
28. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.”
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.
If you are my fellow countryman, you must be having some qualities like
this:
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. You use plastic to cover anything new in your house whether it’s the
remote control, VCR, Phone, carpet or new couch.
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they
won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles and
Aunties” will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special
occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as
possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic
utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel
means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
If you are my fellow countryman, you must be having some qualities like
this:
1. Everything you eat is savored in either garlic, onion, coconut or
tomatoes.
2. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum
foil.
3. You are Always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the
Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party – and think it’s normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam,
Kamini & Shamini.)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound no where, close to their
real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says “No Food Allowed”
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retire and fall asleep quickly. He is in the upper bunk and she is in the lower bunk. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying: “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replies. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he exclaims.
“Good,” she replies. “Get your own damn blanket!”
After a moment of silence, he farted.
A BOY in love with a girl presented her with a lotus flower.
In return the girl gave him a tight slap across his face. The boy was taken aback and asked, ‘I gave you a flower and you paid me back in this way. Why?’
The girl replied, ‘you gave me a kamal which is the emblem of the BJP and I gave you haath which is the emblem of the Congress party.’
An official gallup survey polled over 1000 ladies with this question:
Would you sleep with Bill Clinton?
1% said, “NO.”
2% said, “YES.”
97% said, “NEVER AGAIN.”
The joke of the day is himself writing this article. I was ‘punked’ last night when I decided to watch KANK on cable.
From the very beginning SRK’s attitude towards both his partner and his marriage was appalling. It seemed as if he was finding ways to be infidel to his wife.
The film had generated much hype and had been in the news since it’s release with heavy discussions and special coverage on premium news channels. But, I guess it was all hot air.
In the 25 minutes for which I watched the film, I simply cursed myself for falling prey to the gimmicks played by bollywood directors for selling their product.
