A man walks into a supermarket and notices a beautiful woman staring at him.
She stares for quite some time, so finally the man asks, “Do I know you?”
The woman answers “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”
The man thinks for a minute, then realizes this kid she is talking
about must be the result of the one and only time he ever cheated on
his wife.
He says to the woman, “Are you that exotic dancer that was at my best
friend’s bachelor party about 5 years ago? You know, the one I did it
with on the pool table while everyone was watching?”
The woman looks at him horrified and says, “No, I’m your son’s teacher.”
Two strangers, a man and a woman, meet in a cafe.
The man asks, “My Dear, would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?”
“A million dollars?” the woman inquired. “Well, yes, I guess I would.”
“OK,” the man said. “Would you go to bed with me for $100?”
The woman was aghast. “What kind of person do you think I am?” she exclaimed.
The man replied, “My Dear, we have already established that. We are
merely haggling over the price!”
Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges.
When they arrived in court on the appointed day, no one was there. So
instead of wasting time waiting around, they decided to try each
other.
Motioning Tyler to the stand, Katz said, “How do you plead?”
“Guilty,” replied Tyler.
“That’ll be fifty dollars and a warning from the court,” said Katz.
Katz stepped down and the two judges shook hands and changed places.
“How do you plead?” asked Tyler.
“Guilty,” replied Katz.
Tyler reflected for a moment.”These reckless driving cases are
becoming all too common of late,” he pointed out. “In fact, this is
the second such incident in the last quarter hour. That’ll be two
hundred dollars and ten days in jail!”
